Pandemic Dog

Wake up! Master, it is time for smells and trees and sticks and pee! Say the word, master. “Walk!” Yes, that was the word! Yes! Walk! I’m ready! Walk! No dangly chain this time, please! Ok, put on the chain. No! I run now! Yes, so excited, I run! Ok, put on the chain. Nevermind, I run! Ok, let’s go out! Yes, the smell of the grass. And oh! The smell of the grass over here. What’s this? I’ll have to pee here again. Please, master, must go faster! Run! So many more smells! So many more spots to pee!

But now we are back, and now master goes. Master will be back. Master is always back. But master doesn’t go? Master stay! Master stay all day! So happy! Master sit all day instead and play with toy. So happy to sit next to master. Master takes break from toy and we play! But now master is back at toy and I take nap next to master. So happy for master to stay. “Walk?” Master say “walk?” Yes! Walk! Yes! We do more walk in same day! Never before!

Next day the same! Master stay and play and extra walk. Next day too! Master never leave anymore. Master must be so happy with me. Master so happy. Such a long time since master leave. So happy

But why master look so sad? I know! We play, then master not be sad. Yes, master happy now. Master forgot that we happy because master stay. Master stay so long. But master cry? Why master cry, we just play! I know, I snuggle master, then master stop crying. Yes, master, here I am. You forgot but I still here. Yes, open your eyes, master, then you see I still here. Let me help you, I lick your face, yes, now you know I still here.

Master leave, but no worry. Master will be back. Master is always back. I sit and wait. Then master will be back. I play with toys, yes, then master will be back. Master take so long, but I will rest here and then master will be back. Yes, master will be back. I fall asleep, but now I wake up and it is time for smells and trees and sticks and pee! I will get master and master will say the word! But master is not back. I will wait for master. Master will be back. I will wait. But now I am hungry. The bowl is empty. Master must be back to fill the bowl.

I fall asleep so many times. Master take so long. Getting so hungry. Was so happy, why master go? Now so sad. Sad master go. Sad master take so long. Sad so hungry. But master will be back. Master is always back. Master never not back.

Master will be back.

The future

 I know what you are thinking.

You read the last post and you are thinking "Yes, of course there is another post! I can see it right now! Look now, I'm reading it! Well, I'm not reading it yet because I just finished this one and I started thinking this before reading the next one. But I do see that it is there, and by the time I've read this I will have done so. Will have read this, that is. Or, read that I mean. Because I'm still thinking about it and haven't read it yet so it is that, not this."

No? That's not what you're thinking? Well, I don't care, it really doesn't matter. Just pretend you thought that then, ok? OK?

Anyway, I'm sure you'll find it hard to believe, but this post didn't exist at the time  that post was written. "What? That doesn't make sense!" you say. "But it's right there, 1-2-3." Well, it is there now, but it wasn't before. I don't have any way to prove it, and if you don't want to believe it there's nothing I can do to change your mind, but it's true. True as a lime on a yard stick. 

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